an answer

When I tell people that I study music, I get various reactions. Most seem as if they want to pat me on the head, and say, "Oh honey, that's so sweet!" I usually just smile, and, well, smile. And try not to bare my teeth.

But, occasionally there are people who really do get it.

I'd like to post part of an interview by one of my favorite authors of her interview with another author:

Why do you write?

Sometimes I wonder that myself--especially when the writing part isn't going well. Like today, for instance! But generally speaking I write because writing makes me feel more alive, more connected to the world. When I'm writing I pay more attention to what's happening around me--and when that happens I am struck over and over again I am by the awful beauty of life.

Amen!

If it isn't writing, perhaps it is music. Or reading. Grammar. (I'm sure there are some out there!)

For all of us to survive, we must find something in this world that makes us "feel more alive, more connected to the world." For truly, this life is too short to be spent miserably, trudging along. There is a fine balance to act out, but, "...if their works were good in this life, and the desires of their heart were good, that they should also, at the last day, be restored unto that which is good. And if their works are evil they shall be restored unto them for evil." (Alma 41:3-4) We don't magically know what will create these feelings of beauty in our lives when we die. Today is the day.

This idealistic mood of mine may be caused by falling asleep to Jeremy Irons intone The Alchemist or from the biography of C.S. Lewis that I'm reading (more on this later) but I very strongly believe that we truly are happiest when we are 'searching for our personal treasure,' or 'Joy' or Sehnsucht When we are realizing our divine potential. For we are Pilgrims, nay, Strangers here on this Earth. We are here for but a short time, to learn and to grow, and to be happy - the true and lasting happiness.

Last random thought. Sorry, still a bit philosophical. Just blame it on the books I've been reading lately.

Not too long ago I was reading and realized in the earlier quoted chapter, the "Wickedness never was happiness" has another side to it. You can only be one, or the other. If we are unhappy, there is something that is off: it does not have to be anything major. Ofttimes it is not. Most often, it is because we are being cruel to ourselves, or selling ourselves short. And please don't misinterpret or use the cheap definition of happiness. To find out what I mean, look here and you will find some interesting similarities in the causes of happiness.

I always knew the answers, or what the teacher wanted to hear, in my younger years. In Sunday School, I soon grew tired of knowing the correct answer and began answering every question with the answer of Happy. It was a bit of a joke at the time, but now, I don't think I was too far off.