ode to hollywood

Why in the world does Hollywood feel the need to make things bigger, with the idea that that makes then better? Last week I saw the movie Stardust. I enjoyed the book (with some reservations) but decided that I wanted to see the movie to see how the adaptation of the book went along. There were, of course, various plot modifications throughout the beginning. They weren't quite as drastic as Arwen taking the place of Glorfindel in calling upon the River, or the Elves deciding to come one last time to help the world of men.... And some actually made it less of a moral dilemma when wondering whether to recommend the movie to friends. Others were actually fairly enjoyable.

But, where the falling action of the plot ended, and the denoument should have begun, that is where we have the problems.
Spoiler Alert! In the book, a number of prophesies/rules are given. One regarding the slavery of Una, the princess of Stormhold, and also about the heart of the Star. Hmm... this could be difficult to explain the ending without explaining the beginning. (If you know the plot, you may skip to nearer the end.) I explained the plot to my coworkers the day after I read the book - it made sense, sort of. Well, here is my attempt:

There are four stories that are intwertwined throughout the graphic novel. Firstly, of the Village of Wall, the Princes of Stormhold, the three witch sisters, and a witch and her slave girl.

To begin, Wall. In the Village, there is a wall. And there is a hole in the wall that no one is allowed to cross. Except for every nine years when a fair comes to the meadow just outside the hole in the wall. Enter Dunstan Thorn. A proper English young man. He boards two people from the other side of Wall, a tall gentleman who promises that his and his son's (him not having a son yet) greatest desire will be fulfilled, and a strange furry little fellow. The next day he goes to the fair, long story short, meets the slave girl at a stall, gets a glass flower, and because of a romantic liason, ends up with a baby in a basket. Oh, and his name is Trist-R-an. Not Tristan. Anyhoo, between the liason and the arrival of the baby, Dunstan is married off to a local girl he had been courting, and things seem to be fine.

Tristran, true to form has fallen in love with Victoria, the most beautiful girl in the village. One night, while trying to court he promises her many things, and then, after seeing a shooting star, promises to bring it back to her in exchange for her doing what he asks. She agrees, believing that he would never actually act upon this foolishness.

Well, Tristran does. And his father, when (my memory of this is a bit fuzzy) tells the truth of his origins, takes him to the hole in the wall, and the sentries allow him to pass. As a parting gift, the father gives him the glass flower.

Tristran first meets the furry fellow. He takes care of Tristran, giving him a Babylon candle which is a method of traveling. The furry fellow has a strange tatoo making him a member of some underground society. This comes into play later, though I didn't catch this until the later. Oh well.

Tristran uses the candle to get to the crater with the candle, and discovers Yvaine who had been knocked out of the sky by a necklace. Her leg broke during the fall, and she somehow has this stupid ruby necklace. Tristran had some of that magic silver chain, and captured her, and they start the journey back.

Necklace: The kingdom of Stormhold's manner of succession is different than most - it is the last surviving male becomes the next King. The current king is on his deathbed, and calls his remaining four sons to him. They must kill each other off, but, he adds a final twist - the ruby necklace that declares to the world that they are the king...well, he takes it off and chucks it. Frankly, he is disgusted that his sons haven't managed to kill off each other by now. One of the sons is killed during the death bed scene, leaving only Primus, Tertius and Septimus. There were originally seven sons, and one daughter, who disappeared many years ago. So, after their father's death, they start off together in their hunt, never eating nor drinking anything they haven't prepared themselves.

Witches: There are three witch sisters who are very old, and don't like the way being old makes them look. If only they had the heart of a star - that would make them young again. Oh, wait, a star just fell from the sky. The heart was best if it was a happy heart, but if the heart belonged to another, it did them no good. So, the head witch begins the hunt, turning a girl into a goat to pull her along.

Ditchwater Sal and slave girl: the girl was to be a slave until the moon loses one of her daughters in a week when two Mondays are joined, or something impossible like that.

Okay, Yvaine (the star) and Tristran start walking back. They encounter a unicorn and lion fighting, and there are a bunch of nursery rhymes that he remembers...this one ends with the lion being declared king of the forest, and taking the crown after winning the fight. Yvaine is crying because the unicorn is being beaten and tell Tristran to stop the fight. So, he takes the crown to the lion, and he leaves. Hooray. Random sideplot, but there now is a unicorn friend who can carry Yvaine. Eventually he carries them both and they go pretty fast.

Tertius is killed off after drinking wine provided by a maid during a romantic liason, that was given to the maid by Septimus. Two brothers, now. Septimus on horseback, Primus in the carriage.

Lamia the witch meets Ditchwater Sal and the slave girl. Sal makes Lamia tell the truth of her quest through some herb while sharing dinner, and learns of the Star. Being angry at being tricked, she curses Sal to not recognise the presence of the Star ever.

Tristran needs to get food, but Yvaine is not hungry. He makes her promise not to run off, and then he releases her from the silver chain. Well, when he gets back, she and the unicorn are gone. He falls asleep under a tree, but then the tree wakes him up, and tells him she is headed to trouble. He is instructed to run to the road, for there is a carriage coming, and is given a leaf that will give him advice when he most needs it. Running to the road, he meets Primus and they join together.

Meanwhile, the witch has made a hotel of sorts, and Yvaine has stopped there. Lamia is treating Yvaine quite well inorder to make the star's heart as happy as possible. Primus and Tristran soon are there as well, with Primus entering the building, and Tristran helping to stable the horses. He is brought out a drink, but the unicorn stops him from drinking it because it is poison. So, with this he realizes there is danger and goes to warn Primus. Well, Primus gets his throat slit. The unicorn attacks the witch and gets his head cut off. Tristran listens to the leaf, grabs hold of Yvaine, and holding the stub of Babylon candle, thrusts it into the fire, and they barely escape the wrath of Lamia.

They end up in clouds. They are rescued by lightning catching sky sailors, who's captain is a member of the same order as the little furry guy. They are taken care of, and Yvaine's leg mends, and Tristran's poor burnt hand is tended to. They are then dropped off at a tree dock, and they head off towards Wall.

Well, Septimus, momentarily being thrown off Primus' trail from a ruse, eventually finds his body, and is angry. If he had killed him, all would have been well, but since he had been murdered by an outsider, he was now duty bound to avenge his brother's killer. So he's now after the witch, who is after the Star. All now are headed towards Wall.

Tristran and the Star meet up with Sal, and in exchange for the glass flower, Sal provides safe passage to Wall, changing him into a mouse for the trip. She has no idea Yvaine is there because of the curse.

The witch sets up a little hut near Wall and is questioning all those who pass. Septimus finds her, and tries to kill her, and is killed in the process, thus all the seven sons are dead.

Sal passes the witches hut, but can truthfully tell her because of the curse that she knows nothing of the Star, and neither is Tristran in danger because he is a mouse. Thus, they safely arrive in Wall.

At petitioning the guards at the hole, Tristran is not allowed through that evening, so he helps set up booths at the fair. In the morning he leaves Yvaine to find his family, and the lovely Victoria. He learns that Victoria was not able to kiss him, not promise him anything because she had become engaged to the grocer, Mr. Monday. She was in a state of panic - she had sent Tristran to his death, but if he did come back, well, she would have to marry him. Well, Tristran reminded her that she didn't promise him marriage, but that he would do what he wished. He then wished her to be happily married.

Almost there.

He has a happy reunion with his family, where he says farewell to them forever. He then passes through the wall, and he and Yvaine acknowledge their love for one another. Well, the witch catches up with Yvaine, and though she is unprotected, her heart now belongs to Tristran, so it is no good to the witch. And, as Victoria and Mr. Monday are joined, the slave girl is freed. She, of course, is the long lost sister, Princess of Stormhold, and thus Tristran is the heir to the kingdom.

There we have had the climax, and the falling action and the end of the plot. The ending is different from the movie, because they try too hard to make it exciting. Usually my favorite parts of books are the nice little denouments at the end. Stardust is no exception.

Well, Tristran really does not want to be king. So, he and mum compromise: He and Yvaine will travel to Stormhold in their own time while she will be the interim leader person. They arrive in Stormhold three years later, and find mum to be doing a good job. Well, since she's doing such a great job, they leave a note (at Yvaine's insistence) saying they are to travel a bit more, and finally arrive back at the capital in rags, to accept their roles.

They are good rulers. He dies, and Yvaine leads on in his death.

Because it took so long to explain the story, it's hard to explain what is so different from the movie. But, I'll try: the movie must have an inferiority complex. My brother once said Canadians must have an inferiority complex because they have to have all the biggest things (i.e. yarn ball, truck, etc. - he lived there for a while, so he can say that.) Well, it's almost as if they didn't believe in the story, or believe that we could accept the simpleness of the ending. Heaven forbid there wasn't pages of sword fighting!

Hollywood, we are not idiots!